Thursday, May 26, 2011

Who’s got your WHOLE back?

Well…who? I was having a conversation with a friend about ridding myself of toxic people, but that in doing have become a bit lonely. She brought up a great point of understanding that the various “friends” in our lives fill various roles, but few people have your whole back.

What do I mean? Looking through my phone right now there are a total of 2 people I can call at any time for any reason who I know will listen to me and also not just tell me what I want to hear, but give it to me straight, no chaser. Don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of people, but I’m not quick to call someone my friend right off the bat.

But then I’m like damn, really only 2 people? But see, I don’t confuse friendship with loyalty. I guess I just know where my “friends” fit into my life. Not everyone is willing to support you through the good, the bad, and the ugly. These 2 ride-or-die friends that I have are not parents. But they understand the various struggles I face being a younger single mom, working fulltime and going to school and trying to have a social life. They don’t try to put me in a box. They see potential and inspiration through my chaos.
It’s these people I am able to open up completely with, and that’s rare for me. I’ve had a lot of issues with dishonesty and trust in previous friendships, which makes it very hard for me to reach out and make connections.

There are many people that support me…but it’s only to an extent. And I’ve had to learn to accept that, and as a result I don’t have a great with them. I’m glad to say that I have genuine people around me who will stand by me no matter what, but it’s bittersweet. I look back at all the friendships that I’ve had, that never reached full bloom. I get caught up over it every now and again, but I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

You know that phrase: People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. Mmhmm! Not everyone friendship we have will blossom.

So, who’s got your WHOLE back? For me it isn’t any of my family members or childhood friends. It’s my earthy-crunchy co-worker who is my complete opposite. And the second is my Ex, who still remains my closest male friend to this day. I appreciate them, and as much as they support me, I’m there to support them.

It’s great that I’m able to cross paths with such diverse people, but at the end of the day it’s about quality over quantity when it comes to friendships. Well, to me at least.