Wow, I haven’t written a new post in AWHILE! My apologies, it was never my intention to just up and leave my Mommy Glow. Life has been very stressful and I really couldn’t mentally take another thing on my plate. I’ve been in a real funky mood and have had a lot of changes going on that I haven’t really adapted well too. On top of that my daughter started Kindergarten and then turned 5, I turned 5, and her Father decided that he didn’t want to be a Father anymore and he wanted to take a break from being a parent for a month…but now wants to come back and act like everything is all gravy baby. And now I’m the bad guy because I won’t stand for his inconsistency. Oh and I turned 25 a few weeks ago. Oh and while I was away for my birthday weekend my car was towed and vandalized twice. Exciting!! Oh and I want to seriously drop out of school, I can’t mentally take the juggle and struggle of it all. I’m in my hardest semester in my entire college life and I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail at least 1 class. So yah, that and more is why I haven’t written, and I really apologize. But I literally have no down time, I don’t have any help with my daughter and I’m fricken stressed man. I always hear people say you need time for you. Well wouldn’t that be nice, but it’s not a luxury I have right now. I’m a single hard working mom. There is no break.
Girl, I was directed to your post from the young mommy life and I hear ya. In the span of one month, I lost my job, my apartment was flooded, found out for sure my 2 year old daughter might be austisic and needs speech therapy. Couple that with all the stuff I want or need to do with my life and I can tell you I am there with you. I hate when people try and say things like, " God will never give you more than you can handle ..... blah...blah....blah" While its a true statement, one is really not trying to hear it as you are going through shit. My advise, have someone you trust watch your daughter and go break something. I mean just take a bat to something and beast out on something. Or take a pillow, duck tape it to a tree and hit it till you get whatever you need out. It wont mae your problems go away, but trust me, you'll atlease feel better!!! - Wynona R
ReplyDelete"There is no break." Well you got that right, sista! You are DEF going through it right now, and I can *feel* it as I read your words.
ReplyDeleteThat totally sucks about lil mama's father... and your car. But I have to say that you are right for not putting up with his inconsistency. It's not fair to you, him, or your daughter. Figure out if that's the best he can give b/c your daughter deserves the best.
One piece of advice: DONT QUIT SCHOOL. I know this semester sucks and it's taking ALOT of your energy, but you can push past this... THIS TOO SHALL PAST. It always does, and you always come out stronger!!!
PS: Try taking 5-10 minutes for yourself when lil mama goes to sleep or before she wakes up in the morning. Even if you just stretch and meditate for 5 minutes, that may help... a little.
HUGS!!!!
i honestly cannot imagine how difficult this is for you and i'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. :( ::huge hugs::
ReplyDeleteAnd Happy Bday to you and your girl!!
Aww...I have so been where you are right now and all I can say that it will get better. I know you're probably thinking yeah right, but it will. It takes a lot of trusting in God and praying the answers not the problems. I'm proud of you for holding your ex accountable for his actions and not letting him yank you or your daughter around.
ReplyDeleteHe needs to learn that being a father is not a hat. You can't put it on and take it off when you please!! You are a strong woman and I am sure that God has a lot in store for you. If you need to vent just hit me up on Facebook or shoot me an email. I'm here.
I have learned to take 15 minutes. Before the kids wake up before I have to start the breakfast, the dressing, the traffic, the office...15 minutes to be up and alone with God. Sip a cup of tea. Cover myself in baby oil. But those 15 minutes every morning are for me and it has made a big difference in how I approach my day.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you, Alex. I very well understand what it means not to have the luxury of time. I am browsing for mommy blogs because I myself is having tough time juggling all the responsibilities now that I am new to all the struggles of married life and mommy stuffs and career happening each day! It is relief to read brave mommies supporting eachother. But I am sure we can get over all the challenges! You know what I do when I am stressed out? Escaping with my to-dos for atleast an hour and do what I like! I usually download games in my iPhone and spend an hour (and sometimes in a half) just playing Wedding Dash, or Cut the Rope, or just do random app browsing. You might want to try this free app called Intuition, it is so-called "Mom's personal assistant". Hope you find my quick "escapes" useful like I do.
ReplyDeleteThank You for all your support!! I'm trying everyday to be positive and remember how blessed I am...but not everyday is a good day.
ReplyDelete@wynona-Yes Yes I am loving your idea!!! And I cant wait to take a bat to something asap!!
@sweetal-Yes your right my daughter does deserve the best, I know that and her Dad claims to know that but his complete disregard for consistency makes me understand that he really doesn't get it. Sigh. Its exhausting and frustrating and at the end of the day it just makes me really sad.
@hermomma-thank you :)
@yummama-thanks girl. I was feeling really confident that I could handle him not being in her life at all when he first went MIA, but I feel myself slipping up and wanting and wishing he would step up to the plate and show my daughter how much he does care and love her. But he doesn't. Now he blames me, wants nothing to do with me, but wants to be involved in her life. But I'm like no. You dont have to like me. But we created this child together, and because of that we are bonded for life, and there needs to be some respect for me and my position as the Mother of his daughter. I'm cracking under the pressure!!
@isis5632-I love the baby oil gel! Its heaven and makes me skin feel sooo smooth! Man oh man I'll try getting up 15 minutes earlier, but mornings are brutal for me, it takes the alarm going off 20 times to get me out of bed!! And I swear I dont wake up till I get in the car, its a miracle that I leave the house looking put together lol.
@Philippa-Thank you for stopping by and checking out Mommy Glow! It is so difficult to juggle and handle all the responsibilities that come along with being a Mother and a Woman and a working Professional. Oooh I want an Iphone!! I've been thinking about getting some video games and just playing them...mindless fun, where I wont have to think about all that is stressing me out in life!
*hugs* I've definitely missed your tweets but I understand how life can take over. Wishing you and your baby girl all the best!
ReplyDelete