Life full of Plan B's

Plan A: Graduate from College #1

Plan B: Take a job as a Nanny then get knocked up

Plan A: Keep my job throughout my pregnancy

Plan B:  Fired not even 1/2 way through my pregnancy

Plan A: Sexy sleek black small SUV…fully loaded

Plan B: 1996 Toyota Camry

Plan A: First apartment = Complete Awesomeness

Plan B: First apartment=1 bedroom hole in the wall

Plan A: Super chipper always happy Mom

Plan B: Often annoyed aggravated- due- to –lack- of- sleep Mom

Plan A: Together Forever with my daughter’s father

Plan B: Try to have a mature understanding for the sake of our daughter

Plan A: Single life, no kids, gorgeous loft apartment, fly car, hott bod

Plan B: Kid at 19, ok apartment, crappy car, and not so hott bod

Plan A: Perfect Family = Mom, Dad, Kids

Plan B: Family = Mom + Daughter

My life has been all about Plan Bs. I’ve always had an idea of how I wanted to do things and where I wanted my life to go. Then BAM! Life instantly changes, and all I can do to try to find my balance with the new changes. And as soon as I get some stability and create new visions for my future BAM, this roller coaster of a life heads down around and to the side and I once again have to find my ground. Funny how life has a way of constantly changing. And yet, change is one of the things I fear. Funny.

What I have yet to learn and fully understand, is that these Plan Bs are not Plan Bs…they are what was meant to be, for me and my life. All that has happened all the pain I have gone through, all the bs I had to deal with, all the people I have met along the way…it’s all happened for a reason and has brought me to the place I am today. If I never would have given my daughter’s father my number, I would never been able to meet my beautiful beautiful daughter.

So I’ll still create visions for my futures, but recognize that what will be, will be.

And all I can do is prepare myself for the journey.