Well aside from my insomnia and sleep apnea….coparenting. Yes another post on coparenting from me. Co-parenting has always been something I have struggled with being a single parent. This past year has been an incredibly tough year for me and my co-parent and his relationship with our daughter. Our daughter is old enough now where she is severely affected when he is not around when he says he is going to be. Watching my daughter’s big brown eyes peer out the window waiting impatiently for her Dad, and him never showing up has shattered my heart into pieces. His previous absence and inconsistency really affected her, and as her Mother, I of course want to protect her and don’t want to see her hurting.
I wrote a post titled What Scares Me About Co-Parenting, it was a very honest post about my concerns with this our usually dysfunctional co-parenting relationship. From the post: I am afraid that my daughter will grow up not trusting men. I fear every time she asks where her Daddy is.I fear that our daughter will resent me because I’m the tough parent and he’s the fun parent (when he’s around). I fear that she will grow up to be me. A worried child who felt like her Daddy didn’t love her. Because if he did he would surely want to spend time with me. He’d want to come around on birthdays, at my high school graduation, at the birth of my child.
I’m glad I’m taking the time to be mindful of all these issues, but at the end of the day, she has me, and if I can say so, she’s pretty damn lucky to have such a passionate and loving mother. I can’t change her father; all I can do is keep the line of communication open with our daughter so she’s comfortable enough to have conversations about how she’s feeling. And we’ve had a few so far, they haven’t been easy for me, but they are important to have. It’s important to respect her feelings. This situation is difficult for her as well, and she needs to be able to have a voice. So while all these worries consume me at night, when I peek in her room and see her peacefully sleeping tangled between her favorite pillows, one foot hanging off the bed and snoring, I take a small comfort in knowing that I’m enough.
A friend of mine, who is a mother of 2 daughters, forwarded me this article titled How to Talk to Little Girls featured in The Huffington Post. The article by Lisa Bloom talks about girls & self image and how we as parents and adults play into girl’s self-esteem. Think for a second about your encounters with girls, do you comment on their hair or outfit? Are you quick to tell them how cute they are? (slumps down in seat).
Lisa says, "Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal”
Not good!! The article was enlightening to me; it made me take a hard look at how I interact with my own daughter as well as little girls I come across. I realize that I often comment little girls on their new haircut or sparkly tights. And while I never saw anything wrong with it, I am becoming more aware of how these constant comments can affect a girl’s self-esteem and expectations.
My friend Marlene who forwarded me the article had this to say after reading:
“It really opened my eyes to how I interact with my girls and other young children their age. I mean I am definitely one of those people that use compliments as an ice breaker with kids like "wow, you look beautiful in that dress" and even with boys "he look so handsome in that outfit" etc. And I also thought showering my girls with compliments like these would build their self confidence, but it's actually counter-productive because now thinking back I can recall instances where my own daughter would get dressed and ask ‘Mom, do I look pretty in this dress?, Does my hair look nice like this?’ I always say of course you look great no matter what.....BUT now I realize that she was seeking my approval. I want my girls' self confidence to be based on who they are and what they know and not how they look. I guess all we can do I acknowledge this and try to break the cycle. At least I do.”
This article made me think of a previous post of mine titled Does this diaper make my butt look big. In the article I talked about the poison that are Bratz dolls and how more and more kids are concerned with their image, when they should just be concerned about being kids! Raising a healthy and confident daughter is extremely important to me, and I know that in order to achieve this it takes a lot of patience and conversations with her. Though it seems that society is completely against my desires, promoting the complete opposite of role-models and putting so much pressure onto image.
Did you read the article by Lisa Bloom? How do you counteract society’s fascination with image when interacting with your own daughter or girls you may know?
Mommy Glow's first giveaway for all my Glowing readers!!! My good friend Kristen is a Mary Kay Rep and she has some great information to share about Mary Kay and how you could win $10 n free products!!
1. Kristen, how long have you been working with Mary Kay?
I became engaged in December and attended my first Bridal Expo – the most overwhelming experience of my life! I spoke with someone from Mary Kay and entered a raffle and a few weeks later received a call that I had won a free pamper session and free products. I attended my appointment and fell in love with the products and the mission of Mary Kay. I am now considered a Small Business Owner and I have been working as a Beauty Consultant since March (yes, only a few months!). I am off to a great start in building my business and have already climbed the leadership ladder and became a Senior Beauty Consultant in May.
2. For those that are unfamiliar with Mary Kay, why should they know about it?
Mary Kay is a wonderful company dedicated to enriching the lives of women. All Consultants with Mary Kay work hard to empower women to feel great from the inside – out. We help women to feel confident. As a Consultant, I work with women to empower them to feel great and look great. We foster a “teach, don’t touch” policy in order to educate women about proper skin care, the damaging effects of the sun, ways to prevent the skin’s aging process, and even ways to apply makeup using professional techniques. I have never worked with a woman who didn’t feel fabulous after their appointment. It has been an amazing experience. In regards to our products, we are the #1 selling skin care and cosmetic brand in North America. Our Consultants have only reached about 10% of the population. Do you know what this means?! Over 90% are using the wrong stuff. We are considered a prestigious brand, we compete with Clinique, MAC and Lancome, but our price point will ALWAYS be lower. Our customers get quality products at a reasonable cost. All of the services I offer are complimentary, to give women the opportunity to learn and experience Mary Kay.
3. What do you love most about Mary Kay Products?
What’s not to love?! Mary Kay offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee. I always say, “I come with the box” – there is no 1-800 number to call if you are not happy with the product, no computer operated system to direct you to a “customer service representative,” – you get me! Any products that you are not happy with will be replaced with a more appropriate product or you will be refunded your money. My job is to make sure my customers are completely satisfied with the products and services I provide. I love the ability to work with women and offer them a worry-free guarantee of the products. We have skin care and makeup for all skin types and tones. We have a wide variety of colors and shades in all of our cosmetic lines. My father is a skin cancer survivor and I love that many of the products recommended by the Skin Cancer Foundation. Most of all, I love the benefits and quality of our products. All of our skin care products and cosmetics are non-comedogenic, which means they do not clog pores. Our products are hypoallergenic, tested for skin sensitivity, dermatologist tested, and ophthalmologist tested – and NEVER tested on animals! I love that we really do have “something for everyone!”
4. Summer is here, and our skin changes, what in your opinion is a summer must have for everyone, and why?
In terms of skin care, everything depends on skin type. We have different products for different skin types, so using products that are appropriate for your skin is most important – regardless of the season. We have specific products for those who have oily skin or struggle with oil in “t-zone” areas, which help to hydrate skin and control oil for up to 10 hours. We have an additional product, an oil mattifier that also helps control shine for up to 8 hours. I also stress the importance of wearing daily SPF on your face and sunscreen for time spent outside. Over 2/3 of the sun exposure that we receive is from incidental time spent outdoors – just walking to our car, walking to the T station, walking to the mailbox to get the mail. It is extremely important to wear an SPF year round, not only to protect our skin from the harmful effects of the sun’s UVA/UVB rays, but also to prevent the skin’s aging process. Sun exposure accelerates the aging process, contributing to fine lines and wrinkles. Skin cancer is also directly linked to sun exposure. Stay protected!
Beyond skincare, we have some great new summer products that could get any woman excited! We just launched a Limited Edition Coconut Lime Body Care Set ($26) which includes a shower gel, body lotion, and fragrance spray in a really cute bag. We also have an awesome Limited Edition Cooling Bronzing Stick ($20), refreshing on contact and good to use anywhere on the body – for that great summer glow! My personal favorite is our Limited Edition Pedicure Set (only $22) – which has saved me a trip to the salon for a pedicure! It includes a relaxing foot soak, soothing foot balm, and foot brush/file. Our new Summer Catalog (released 6/16) features our new Liquid Lip Color available in 6 shades, 10 new mineral eye color shades, and 11 new Lipstick shades!
ENTER this GIVEAWAY by commenting on this post talking about
how you'd use this $10 in free Mary Kay products!
You have until MIDNIGHT on Sunday July 18th to Enter!!!
Don't miss this great giveaway!!!
Contact Kristen Hakensonat781-484-8693 or by email, khakenson@marykay.com for more information or to schedule a complimentary Pamper Session! Pamper Sessions include a three-step hand treatment, two-step lip treatment, and Ultimate facial with Microdermabrasion experience. All women who schedule an appointment and mention “Mommy Glow” will receive $10 in FREE Mary Kay product of her choice! Not from the Boston area?! No problem! Kristen also offers facial-by-phone appointments so that ANY woman can have the chance to experience Mary Kay! Kristen also offers secondary, follow-up appointments which include a complete mineral color makeover – and the opportunity to learn professional makeup application techniques.
Mommy Glow chronicles my story. My journey as a 26 year old-single-working mom. My journey has been tough, but extremely rewarding. Mommy Glow offers inspiration, tips, and the occasional lament from a mom who really IS doing it all (or at least, it feels that way!)
