This Isn't Just For Colored Girls...

When I saw the previews for For Colored Girls I knew it was a movie I had to see. So along with 2 girlfriends we went to see the movie on opening night. It was great to see the packed theatre and all the support for the film and amazing cast. I started crying about 20minutes into the movie. And by the end my eyes were red and puffy. Its like I was hit by a train. The movie didn't just move it. It dragged me. It swung me. It threw me down in the dirt, and make me take a look at myself. At those around me. At the secrets that I am carrying around, and I wrote this shortly after seeing the film"

Do our secrets define us? 

Shape us, make us. Break us?
We all have secrets.
Let them unite us
Not tear us apart
Let us be able to release ourselves
from our secrets
and allow ourselves
to be
loved
to be
supported
to be

cared for.
Let us not store our secrets away
Let us not fear our secrets
Let us find healing
and
peace
Let us drop the baggage
and begin a new journey
Let us believe in the power
of a
community
of a
sisterhood

Because this..
Is For Colored Girls
Who Have Considered 
Suicide 
When the Rainbow 
Wasn't Enough

 

There is no way to describe the power of this movie. The messages are available to those who want to listen. This movie isn't just For Colored Girls. It's for all of us, all of us who have struggled, who have scarified, who have made mistakes, who've been beaten down by life, who have been silenced, who have had sex without love, who have ever loved and lost, and those whom are seeking comfort and affection.


The movie is available today on DVD. Though I have no plans on watching it soon, because it put me in a dark emotional stage, its a movie that I have to have in my movie collection. After watching the film, I went out and bought the book, and am excited to read the poems within it.

I give you back

While doing my homework last night I came across this emotionally awakening poem by Joy Harjo that I had to share with you all. It awoke my emotional senses and after reading Joy's poem I feel different. I hope to one day be able to share and  show my feelings like Joy does with this poem. Enjoy.

I Give You Back
By Joy Harjo

I release you, my beautiful and terrible fear.
I release you.
You were my beloved and hated twin, but now, I don’t know you as myself.
I release you with all the pain I would know at the death of my daughters.

You are not my blood anymore.

I give you back to the white soldiers

who burned down my home, beheaded my children,

raped and sodomized my brothers and sisters.

I give you back to those who stole the food from

our plates when we were starving.

I release you, fear, because you hold these scenes

in front of me and I was born with eyes that can never close.

I release you, fear, so you can no longer keep me naked

and frozen in the winter, or smothered under blankets in the summer.

I release you

I release you

I release you

I release you

I am not afraid to be angry.
I am not afraid to rejoice.
I am not afraid to be black
I am not afraid to be white.
I am not afraid to be hungry.
I am not afraid to be full.
I am not afraid to be hated.
I am not afraid to be loved,

to be loved, to be loved, fear.

Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.
You have gutted me but I gave you the knife.

You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire.

I take myself back, fear.

You are not my shadow any longer.
I won’t hold you in my hands.
You can’t live in my eyes, my ears, my voice my belly, or in my heart
my heart my heart my heart.

But come here, fear.

I am alive and you are so afraid of dying.

And as I go, I stop

A lil poem I wrote a few months ago for a class. I have to constantly remind myself to pay attention to life as it's happening and stop rushing, rushing, rushing. Wonder if I'll learn...

And as I go
I stop.
And as I play
I pause.
When will I progress,
When will I get there?
For there is there and
here, well
here.i.am
Not here is where I want to be.
Come here, there,
please save me from here,
for I fear
what is here
because what is
here.is.me
No cure for this illusion
No remedy for this overwhelming
need to
get from
here.to.there.
Did you know, I don't know how to walk
I run.
Knees bloody from falling
over and
over and over.
Do I need permission?
Who do I need to ask?
I want to be there, already,
aren't you listening.
For, I cannot go any further
I cannot run any faster.
I cannot reach there
without
fixing what is here
now.
And now I must learn,
will you,
help me learn how to walk?