C is for Choice: Why Should Women Buy Their Own Diamonds

I know there are many women [I know a few] who expect their boyfriend-spouse-husband to bathe them in fancy expensive jewelry. They want people to know that “he went to Jared” lol.

I’ve always been an independent woman. And I firmly believe that women should buy their own jewelry, bags, cars, clothes, and diamonds. Why should women buy their own diamonds? Why the heck not?! I’ve never expected anyone to buy anything for me. If I want something and have the means to afford it, I get it. If I don’t have the means too than that means I don’t get it.

A woman shouldn’t feel as if diamonds need to be bought for her. She should be able to purchase diamonds on her own if that is what her heart desires.

Personally I’m not rushing to get a sweet diamond necklace or bracelet, I like nice things, but right now in my life diamonds are a reach. A big reach. But I do look forward to the day when I can go to diamonds.com with my credit card handy and not worry about maxing it out. Being able to purchase a diamond bracelet like this one from Diamonds.com:

Would be a real sense of accomplishment especially since I have struggled to gain financial stability since I have lived on my own the past 6 years. Being a single mom and a young single mom, I am still striving to achieve and succeed, but am confident that one day soon…I’d say before I turn 30 [5 more years] that I will be running over to diamonds.com to make my first major diamond purchase!

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post by Diamonds.com, opinions expressed are the blogger's own views not influenced by any outside biases. 

Domestic Violence is Never The Answer

As a younger mommy I try to stay in tune with other young mommies. But, when I heard about all these shows on MTV like Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant, I honestly didn’t care. I think I’ve maybe watched 10 minutes of each of these shows and turned the channel, it’s a “reality” show that I just wasn’t able to connect with.

There seems to be a lot of positive and negative support regarding these shows and the younger moms portrayed in them. I’ve recently seen them cover magazines, but the latest buzz around these shows is extremely unfortunate.

It started when I was over visiting Tara at The Young Mommy Life, she wrote a post Is domestic violence ever entertaining? Apparently one of the teen moms has been engaging in violence with her boyfriend/daughter’s father Gary. And to answer Tara’s question: NO, domestic violence is NEVER entertaining. EVER.

Then today I came across an article written by Tracy Clark-Flory titled Domestic abuse on "Teen Mom," Again. Apparently, the violence between Amber and Gary has continued and from what I read has escalated, with their innocent daughter often having to witness their parent’s fights. Now, Tracy brought up an EXCELLENT point when she said,

“I can't help wondering what the public reaction would be if the direction of the violence in their relationship was reversed. It's hard to imagine comparable male-on-female violence continuing to air, season after season, without major outcry or intervention.”

When I hear and think of domestic violence it is always a man engaging in violence against a woman. As a society, men are (generally) taught that you should never lay your hands on a woman! But, are we women taught to keep our hands off of men? I honestly feel that it is more socially acceptable for a woman to beat up a man than for a man to beat up a woman. Maybe it’s because women are categorized as weak and dainty and men are thought of to be strong and aggressive. But I can guarantee you that if Amber’s daughter’s father was the attacker and aggressor (maybe he is, but from what I have read he’s not) than MTV would.not.air.those.episodes. And that makes me question society’s value system.

According to A Hidden Crime: Domestic Violence Against Men Is a Growing Problem violence against men is a widely growing problem, but there is a lack of research on this growing trend. Yet, “half of all domestic violence cases involve an exchange of blows and the remaining 50% is evenly split between men and women who are brutalized by their partners.” Hmmm, funny how we, the public are usually only told or outraged over a man victimizing a woman.

What is also interesting to note is that when domestic violence against a man is brought to light, “as in the case of actor Phil Hartman -- the focus tends to shift to mental illness.” Whattttt!!!!

Violence against women is wrong.

Violence against men is wrong.

Violence is never the answer.

We as a society have to stop viewing domestic violence as an act solely aimed at abusing and hurting women. Violence happens everywhere in all types of interpersonal relationships, and each should be treated seriously.

What are your thoughts? Why do you think society has an easier time showing violence towards men but not towards women?

welfare

The history of welfare programs in the U.S. includes the fact that originally the program was designed for war widows.  Most of these women were white and the program was meant to tide the woman, usually a mother, over until she could marry a new husband and be supported by him.

Today the image of a welfare mother is far different and usually is of a woman of color instead of a white woman.  Women today are also more likely to have children outside of marriage and welfare is less likely to be for war widows.

How do you think these changes in recipients have affected the public opinions about welfare and about the recipients?

I think that very few recipients of welfare understand the history of the system. They don’t know how the system was created and what its purpose was. Realizing that the program was designed for war widows makes me view the system completely differently and it also angers me because of how the welfare is today.

I leaned on the welfare system when I was pregnant 5 years ago. I was ashamed and embarrassed to fill out the application and to meet with a worker and to get my EBT card. I was embarrassed when I went into the supermarket to purchase groceries and did my best to shield my card from the cashier and others in line. Why? Personally, I felt it was a failure that I couldn’t provide for myself. But what I also did know is that as soon as I was able to go back to work, I would and I would get off of welfare. I never looked at the program as a long term. It was there to help those in need and I was not going to take advantage.

The problem I see now in my community is that welfare is some type of game that people need to beat. They receive assistance, but have a job on the side they don’t report. They claim they don’t have money to pay rent or buy toothpaste and toilet paper but they have an Iphone, new Nikes, and their nails painted. Every.single.week. Welfare recipients tend to have a variety of resources available to help recipients get back on their feet. From job training programs to parenting classes to apartment help. The idea is that ok, people need help and we need to help them. Though some recipients take advantage. Welfare is not a career. So now the public opinion is that welfare is a crutch for people. It’s viewed as a means to help people become more dependent. And the fact that most recipients now are of woman of color only reiterates stereotypes within our society. Those women of color need help, that they are needy, and poor. It’s a sad sad reality based on why the program was designed. Of course not all recipients are devious, and like myself I appreciated the help, but also worked extremely hard to get off the system and did so in a year.

 Lets keep the dialouge open, what is your take?

IMAGE-IMAGE-IMAGE

PART ONE:

Weight + Image:

America’s fall into the world of all this

Superficial + Unhealthy

America, home of the thin and superficial

America, home of the super-thin and materialistic

Amerca, home of the obese and extremely self-conscious

Sooo, whats up with American women feeling like they don’t measure up when it comes to weight and image? Could it be because the average American woman is 5’4’’ and weighs 140 pounds? It could be. It could also be because plastered on billboards, in magazines, and on TV are super-thin and mostly Caucasian women who look nothing like the everyday woman. Could it be because the average American model is 5’11’’ and weighs 117 pounds? Could be.

In the movie Shallow Hal, the main character, Jack Black, views overweight women as beautiful and thin. He views their “inner beauty”. He is deemed an outcast by his friends and thought to be crazy to be attracted to a woman who wasn’t 110lbs.

Society urges women to try this diet pill and try that. From hip-hop abs to nutrisystem, it seems like society cannot get away from the thin-craze. In one magazine I was reading I found 6 ads for ‘magic’ diet pills. And even saw an ad for plastic surgery. Clearly these ads wouldn’t have been created if there weren’t overweight people. Knowing that is that case, why feature stick then makeup packed women who look nothing like the everyday women?

 The Dove Campaign for real beauty caused a lot of outrage worldwide. Why are those kind of women now on billboards? They’re not attractive, they’re not pretty! News flash: those women dressed in white bras and panties, well they’re you’re wives, sisters, mothers, and daughters.

Dove began the campaign because they like many women in society felt that beauty had a narrow and unchanged view. Their goal was to redefine what beauty is so it accepts all women and challenges them to accept and love every inch, roll, and curve.

Another organization encouraging women to accept who they are is the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA). Started in 1969 the NAAFA strives to banish discrimination based solely on body size. The NAAFA seeks to empower women through membership, education, and advocacy. It’s important to state that their goal isn’t to necessarily lose weight, but to get to a point where you are healthy and feel good about yourself.

When did image start becoming survival of the thinnest?

In a culture built on fast cars and sex appeal where does the average women fit in?