Life full of Plan B's

Plan A: Graduate from College #1

Plan B: Take a job as a Nanny then get knocked up

Plan A: Keep my job throughout my pregnancy

Plan B:  Fired not even 1/2 way through my pregnancy

Plan A: Sexy sleek black small SUV…fully loaded

Plan B: 1996 Toyota Camry

Plan A: First apartment = Complete Awesomeness

Plan B: First apartment=1 bedroom hole in the wall

Plan A: Super chipper always happy Mom

Plan B: Often annoyed aggravated- due- to –lack- of- sleep Mom

Plan A: Together Forever with my daughter’s father

Plan B: Try to have a mature understanding for the sake of our daughter

Plan A: Single life, no kids, gorgeous loft apartment, fly car, hott bod

Plan B: Kid at 19, ok apartment, crappy car, and not so hott bod

Plan A: Perfect Family = Mom, Dad, Kids

Plan B: Family = Mom + Daughter

My life has been all about Plan Bs. I’ve always had an idea of how I wanted to do things and where I wanted my life to go. Then BAM! Life instantly changes, and all I can do to try to find my balance with the new changes. And as soon as I get some stability and create new visions for my future BAM, this roller coaster of a life heads down around and to the side and I once again have to find my ground. Funny how life has a way of constantly changing. And yet, change is one of the things I fear. Funny.

What I have yet to learn and fully understand, is that these Plan Bs are not Plan Bs…they are what was meant to be, for me and my life. All that has happened all the pain I have gone through, all the bs I had to deal with, all the people I have met along the way…it’s all happened for a reason and has brought me to the place I am today. If I never would have given my daughter’s father my number, I would never been able to meet my beautiful beautiful daughter.

So I’ll still create visions for my futures, but recognize that what will be, will be.

And all I can do is prepare myself for the journey.

Stressed with Finals, but I'm bacccck!!

I want to apologize to all my fabulous readers for my lack of posts recently. 

It seemed like all of the sudden I had 456 tasks to complete and only a limited amount of time to complete them. Stressed doesn't even begin to explain how I was feeling.

Do you know that show on Food Network called Dinner Impossible...well for the past 2 weeks I've felt like I was living Life Impossible. 

I work full time, I was enrolled in 4 classes, I'm a single mom, I have personal training twice a week, a blog, 2 freelance writing opportunities, a house to unpack, a car to fix, weight to lose, and oh ya, myself to think about. I was over my head with no one to rescue me or throw me a life-jacket. Well...I guess that's my fault. I've been alienating a lot of people lately, but I feel like I'm now able to see people for who they really are. And I don't want them in my life. Its really hard though. It's hard leaving people behind, but I have to do whats best for me and my daughter. And if your not helping and supporting me then I don't have the time to spend on you. Is that too harsh?? But now of course like I don't have anyone on my team, no one to call when I just need to vent or cry or just talk too.

Well anyways, I can breathe a sigh of relief...but only for 2 days because summer classes start on Tuesday, exciting!!(NOT!) And I have no idea how I am going to pay for my books for school...sigh.....

How do you deal with immense amounts of stress? 

Well enough ranting and raving:

Happy Fourth of July, hope you all have a great and safe weekend.

More posts to come this week, and stay tuned for Mommy Glow's first GIVEAWAY from Mary Kay!!

life purpose

What’s your life purpose?

Have you ever thought about your purpose in life? I took a class last year that helped me think about this quite complex question. Through the following exercise we were able to help understand what our purpose was.

I often find myself drifting. I’m overworked and so always stressing that I forget to think about my goals. I’m just moving through the motions of life, almost like a robot. It’s not something I’m proud of, but at least I acknowledge it. This exercise was huge for me. I mean in my head I knew what I wanted to do when I grow up, I knew what group of people I want to help, and I know that I want to change the world.

But seeing the words on paper. Reading it out loud…it then suddenly came to life. It gave me goosebumps.

My life came to life.

Here are the steps, and be sure to take your time when coming up with the answer. and know that there is no right answer. This is YOUR life purpose.

1. List two of your unique personal traits

2. List one or two ways you enjoy expressing those qualities when interacting with others

3. Assume the world is perfect right now. What does the world look like? How is everyone interacting with everyone else? What does it feel like? Write your answer in a statement, in the present tense, describing the ultimate condition, the perfect world as you see it and feel it. Remember, a perfect world is a fun place to live.

4. Combine the prior three subdivisions into a single statement.

My combined statement is:

My purpose is to use my determination and diligence to inspire and motivate others to support each other, love freely, and become a part of their community.

So have fun with this exercise, and let me know what you come up with!!

And as I go, I stop

A lil poem I wrote a few months ago for a class. I have to constantly remind myself to pay attention to life as it's happening and stop rushing, rushing, rushing. Wonder if I'll learn...

And as I go
I stop.
And as I play
I pause.
When will I progress,
When will I get there?
For there is there and
here, well
here.i.am
Not here is where I want to be.
Come here, there,
please save me from here,
for I fear
what is here
because what is
here.is.me
No cure for this illusion
No remedy for this overwhelming
need to
get from
here.to.there.
Did you know, I don't know how to walk
I run.
Knees bloody from falling
over and
over and over.
Do I need permission?
Who do I need to ask?
I want to be there, already,
aren't you listening.
For, I cannot go any further
I cannot run any faster.
I cannot reach there
without
fixing what is here
now.
And now I must learn,
will you,
help me learn how to walk?