Hanging up my SuperMom Cape

I doubt my parenting skills often. Been doubting myself ever since the first day I brought my daughter home. I was all by myself with a 2 day old newborn. Those 6lbs 14.5oz wanted nothing more than to be loved. And I have tried my best to shower her with love and affection every single day. I have promised not to be like the Mom in the mall yesterday who slapped her 3 year old son across the face.

I know that life is full of ups and downs. Yesterday was a major down, and as a result I’m hanging up my SuperMom cape. My daughter who is 5½ was having a hard day after school. She was getting easily frustrated and whining a lot. When we finally got home she settled down a bit, and then went back to the whining. I firmly asked her to go to her room [something I never do], she looks over at me and says Mommy, I don’t want to live with you anymore, I wanna live with Daddy. My jaw dropped. I sat there starting at her for a good 5 minutes in shock, then again asked her to go to her room. As soon as she left the living room tears started flowing. Me, Mama, the most consistent person in her life. She really wants to just push me aside?

Mama who is always there for her to put a band-aid on an invisible scratch.

Mama who is there at every swimming glass grinning in pride at the edge of the pool.

Mama who dances and sings with her in the living room every evening.

Mama who is snuggled next to her every night.

Mama who is there at every parent-teacher conference, every pot-luck, every school event.

Mama who grinds.every.single.day for her.

Mama who juggles being a fulltime student and fulltime employee, to make her life better.

Mama who has no social life, so I can be present and available for her every need.

Mama, whose number one priority is to love and support her.

Yes my daughter is only 5, and I know that she loves me, and that our bond is rock solid. Those tears flowed because for so long I have puffed out my chest and worn this SuperMom cape, so sure that single handedly I could provide for her every mental, emotional, and physical need. Shielding her away from toxic people and protecting her from harm. In that moment staring at her I realized that I can’t do it all, regardless of how hard I grind and how much I sacrifice.

As I was bawling on the couch, my friend who had witnessed everything went in and talked with her. She was able to communicate what she was feeling. She missed her Dad, and didn’t know why he wasn’t around all the time. Didn’t know why he said he would come and then didn’t. She was acting out because she was frustrated and didn’t know how to tell me. My heart b-r-o-k-e, because I cannot be her Mother and Father.  I have juggled this single parent thing, and tried to overcompensate for being the only adult in the home. My heart broke because I have tried to shield her from constant inconsistency, but it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried to redirect her sadness, and try to fill the void he’s left. She’s a kid, I thought, she’ll bounce back. But, she hasn’t, and this is why I hang up my SuperMom cape.

So SuperMom cape, I retire you. You are tired and worn, and need a break. I’m only human; I can only do so much. And while I never think my best is good enough, it has to be enough, because it’s all I have.

Support Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating A Career by The Young Mommy Life

Being a young parent has created its challenges and struggles. There are many days when I just want to throw the rag in and call it quits. I wonder if all my hard work will ever really pay off.

Enter blogger Tara from The Young Mommy Life.

I “met” Tara last year when I first began Mommy Glow. I didn’t really know where my voice fit in the virtual world. When I came across her and her site, I was like wow. Here is a young woman, a young mom, who is out there hustling, making moves, and creating a forum for other young parents to talk about the experiences us young parents encounter.

Tara has become not only my friend, but my personal cheerleader as well. She’s not someone asking me how I’m doing to be nice. She asks because she truly cares and wants to help in whatever way she can. She’s always been there for me, to help support me in my times of need. To help listen to me when I need to vent. All the way from Ohio she is a vital member of my support system.

And now I want to be there for Tara, and her recently published e-book called: Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating A Career You Crave available on Amazon for $5.99. I am so inspired by Tara’s go-getter attitude and her continuous positivity. She is a real inspiration to young mommies everywhere.

I was able to ask Tara more about Make It Happen and why this is a must read for all young parents, and below is what she had to say:

I decided to write a book about career and money first (as opposed to the "sexier" topics of relationships, body image and all that) because a good chunk of our day-to-day life revolves around money. For a lot of us, being a stay-at-home mom isn't really an option - even if that's what we long to do. So we go to work to support our families the best way we know how. Our jobs may not pay that much or we might just really feel like our job is sucking the soul right out of us. But we don't want to complain because that job is putting food in our babies' mouth. Right? 

I wanted to tell other young parents what I've learned over the past couple years - that we own our future. Too often we feel like we're scrambling, playing catch-up, but the truth is, we've got just the right combination of factors - youth, motivation, drive, the new digital age that allows us to contact anyone anywhere - that makes success more than just a strong possibility for us. 

We CAN have a career that is of our making that allows us to pay the bills and then some, that gives us a daily dose of happiness. If it sounds like poppycock to you, let me just say: I'm living it now. Other moms I know are either there or well on their way. 

In the book, I help you find your passion, learn to budget so you make the most of the money you earn, and give you 20 ideas for side hustles you can start TODAY for little or no money. Once we get financially empowered, it makes all the big decisions - where we live, what we eat, where our kids go to school - so much easier to make. I hope once people finish reading, they're ready to make that next step in their career - whether it's reaching out to someone they admire or setting up their own website/portfolio (I cover both items in the book).

I’m proud to know Tara, and uber proud of her publishing her 1^st e-book Make It Happen. I plan to read it this weekend, and hope you all take the time to download the e-book and write a review.

Let's show her some support!

Help Me Become a Mamavation Mom!

Its game time: I want to become the next Mamavation Mom.

On December 15^th I applied to become the next Mamavation Mom. Why? I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of my weight and living an unhealthy lifestyle. I’m tired of struggling with sleep apnea and not sleeping. I’m tired of not being comfortable in my own skin. You can read more about why I want to be the next Mamavation Mom HERE.

There are quite a few steps in the whole Mamavation Mom process:

1) Record video, share on Youtube and on blog DONE

2) Complete online application DONE

3) Gain support! Encourage supporters to publicly [via twitter/facebook] support me to become the next Mamavation Mom DONE

4) Help @bookieboo [the woman behind Mamavation] narrow down finalists, by commenting HERE on why I should be chosen as the next Mamavation Mom.

We are currently in the 4^th stage of the Mamavation Mom process. Finalists will be chosen by bookieboo on January 5^th and the finalists that she handpicks will then go to round two–the voting week starting January 10th. Two of the five finalists win the title of Mamavation Mom and start the bootcamp as everyone watches on January 17th.

Including myself there are 9 applicants applying to become the next Mamavation Mom for Campaign 7.

I am the only single mom. And I am seemingly the only one of color.

And I have to admit, I feel like the underdog for many reasons. But, I’m not going to let that stop me. I am determined and motivated to lose weight and begin living a healthy lifestyle, and would love the opportunity to be supported by the Mamavation crew by becoming a Mamavation Mom.

I want to be chosen as the next Mamavation Mom and show other moms and single moms that WE can achieve our goals if we reevaluate our goals and have a support system.

I WILL achieve because I BELIEVE.

“You can’t hire someone else to do your push-ups for you”

-Jil Rohn [philosopher]

I know that this journey is going to be tough, and as a Mamavation Mom for 7 weeks I will have to be extremely dedicated and will be held accountable. This isn’t a game. This is serious. My health and life are in jeopardy and this is why I need to become the next Mamavation Mom. There are a lot of negative devastating side affects that come along with not treating sleep apnea. They include daytime sleepiness, fatigue, congestive heart failure, low blood oxygen, and memory loss. Scary stuff.

No one else can change my life besides me. I have to be 100% responsible for the quality of life that I lead. I cannot blame lack of time or sleepiness or a needy child for getting in the way of exercising or eating healthy. I’ve taken responsibility and now ready for action. I’m ready to kick some ass and show this fat whose boss!!

The fire within me has been reignited. I am ready to change my life, and hope you will support me on my journey.

“It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined”

-Henry James [author]

Please head over to Mamavation and tell bookieboo that you believe I would be a great Mamavation mom. Please use my twitter handle @YoungFabMama

Below is my YouTube video application:

And please keep the support going on Twitter by tweeting:

“Hey @bookieboo! I want (@YoungFabMama) to be the next #Mamavation Mom. She has my support! http://bit.ly/zqUxa”

Thank you for all who have supported me, it means a great deal to know that I have people in my corner rooting for me.