What scares me about Co-Parenting

Living in Massachusetts all my life, I’ve heard about The Massachusetts Alliance on Teen Pregnancy briefly throughout the years, and then became more aware of them once Tara over at The Young Mommy Life starting writing with them. After a bit of networking I have happily been asked to write for their blog called The Pushback. The Pushback is a great blog through the alliance whose contributors are those that work directly with young parents or young parents themselves (like me and Tara). The Pushback is a chance to push against all that ignorance, bitterness, and prejudice and show what young parenthood really looks like.

I’m excited to share my first post with you all, and it’s titled: What scares me about Co-Parenting. Yes, if you are one of my dedicated readers you know I’ve written quite a few posts regarding my tense co-parenting relationship. There is a lot of fear I have for myself and daughter because of my now strained relationship with my daughter’s father. I encourage you to check out my post along with the Alliance, which is a great support for people in Massachusetts as well as nationwide.

I give you back

While doing my homework last night I came across this emotionally awakening poem by Joy Harjo that I had to share with you all. It awoke my emotional senses and after reading Joy's poem I feel different. I hope to one day be able to share and  show my feelings like Joy does with this poem. Enjoy.

I Give You Back
By Joy Harjo

I release you, my beautiful and terrible fear.
I release you.
You were my beloved and hated twin, but now, I don’t know you as myself.
I release you with all the pain I would know at the death of my daughters.

You are not my blood anymore.

I give you back to the white soldiers

who burned down my home, beheaded my children,

raped and sodomized my brothers and sisters.

I give you back to those who stole the food from

our plates when we were starving.

I release you, fear, because you hold these scenes

in front of me and I was born with eyes that can never close.

I release you, fear, so you can no longer keep me naked

and frozen in the winter, or smothered under blankets in the summer.

I release you

I release you

I release you

I release you

I am not afraid to be angry.
I am not afraid to rejoice.
I am not afraid to be black
I am not afraid to be white.
I am not afraid to be hungry.
I am not afraid to be full.
I am not afraid to be hated.
I am not afraid to be loved,

to be loved, to be loved, fear.

Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.
You have gutted me but I gave you the knife.

You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire.

I take myself back, fear.

You are not my shadow any longer.
I won’t hold you in my hands.
You can’t live in my eyes, my ears, my voice my belly, or in my heart
my heart my heart my heart.

But come here, fear.

I am alive and you are so afraid of dying.